By using or visiting this website (called How I Lost My Heart, or HILMH, or us, or we, or this site, or the Website), you agree to these "Terms of Service."  You agree to the privacy terms here too, so you'd better go read them, the California legislature seems to want you to do so.

If you do not agree to any of these terms, then please do not use this Website. 

Find another website whose terms you like better. 

Go ahead. 

We dare you.

HowILostMyHeart.com

HILMH is right now constituted as a site to express support for John McCain.  Eventually, he will be elected president, we hope, and then, or even before, we may use the site for something else.  But right now, that's what it's here for.

HILMH may contain links to third party websites.  We don't control these. We assume no responsibility for, the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third party websites. We will not and cannot censor or edit the content of any other site. You relieve us from any liability arising from your use of any third-party website.

Be aware when you leave this site. Read the terms of service and privacy policy of each other website that you visit.  Actually, we know of hardly anyone, ourselves included, who reads the terms of service or privacy policy of the websites they go to.

Website Access

You promise you will: 1. not copy or distribute any part of the Website in any medium without our prior written authorization; 2. not alter or modify any part of the Website other than by uploading materials as invited;  3.  call your mother a little more often. Users without mothers are hereby exempt from this (#3) requirement.

Some day, to access some features of the Website, you may have to create an account. You may never use another's account without permission. When and if the day comes to create your account, you must provide accurate and complete information. You are solely responsible for the activity that occurs on your account. You – and you alone -- must keep your account password secure.

We are not your mother and we will not be responsible for what could happen if you give the wrong person your password. Notify us immediately of any breach of security or unauthorized use of your account. Maybe we will do something about it, although we doubt it.  We will not be liable for your losses caused by any unauthorized use of your account. But you may be liable for the losses to us or others due to such unauthorized use.

You agree that you won't, without our permission, use or launch any automated system, including without limitation, "robots," "spiders," "offline readers," etc., that accesses the Website in a manner that sends more request messages to the HILMH servers in a given period of time than a human can reasonably produce in the same period by using a convention on-line web browser.  (As if a Condition like this will ward off a Denial of Service attack by some renegade Parouski hacker -- or rival candidate -- we won't mention which -- controlling a vast array of evil zombie netbots.  Preposterous.  But still, including it makes our counsel happy, so ... there it is.)

HILMH grants the operators of public search engines permission to use spiders to copy materials from the site for the sole purpose of creating publicly available searchable indices of the materials, but not caches or archives of such materials except so as to facilitate searching. (So Google, go ahead and do your cache thing, we really want you to list us! Prominently!  Hi Sergey!  Hey Larry!)

We reserve the right to revoke these exceptions.

You agree not to collect or harvest any personal information, including account names, from the Website, nor to use the communication systems provided by the Website for any commercial solicitation purposes except in the Directory as intended. You agree not to solicit, for commercial purposes, any users of the Website with respect to their User Submissions.

Intellectual Property Rights

If you upload content, you give us a worldwide irrevocable license to feature it and to reprint it in any medium.  Forever.  So think before you upload.

You promise not to upload anything trademarked or copyrighted if you don't have the right to do so.  If you do so, you'll indemnify us for all damages and costs, including attorneys fees, we incur from your having done so. 

The content, including without limitation, the text, software, scripts, graphics, photos, sounds, music, videos, interactive features and the like ("Content") and the trademarks, service marks and logos contained therein ("Marks"), are owned by, licensed to or granted to us. These ("these") are subject to copyright and other intellectual property rights under and foreign laws and international conventions.

Content on the Website is provided to you AS IS for your information and personal use only and may not be used, copied, reproduced, distributed, transmitted, broadcast, displayed, sold, licensed, or otherwise exploited for any other purposes whatsoever without the prior written consent of the respective owners.

You agree not to engage in the use, copying, or distribution of any of the Content other than expressly permitted herein, including any use, copying, or distribution of User Submissions of third parties obtained through the Website for any commercial purposes.

If you download or print a copy of the Content for personal use, you must retain all copyright and other proprietary notices contained therein.

You will not circumvent, disable or otherwise interfere with security related features of the Website or features that prevent or restrict use or copying of any Content or enforce limitations on use of the Website or the Content therein.

We reserve all rights not expressly granted in and to the Website and the Content.

User Submissions

We invite you to upload your words here.  Once you do, we can use them as we see fit (see below.  and above.  as above, so below).   You can too, we're big believers in freedom of speech.  Whether or not your words are published here, we do not guarantee any confidentiality with what you sent us.   Actually, we don't guarantee any confidentiality at all, except as set forth in the Privacy Policy, which we recommend you go read.  Now.  It might make some California legislator's day!

You shall be solely responsible for your own words and the consequences of posting or publishing them. In connection with your words, you warrant that: (i) you own or have the necessary licenses, rights, consents, and permissions to use and authorize Pnosis to use all patent, trademark, trade secret, copyright or other proprietary rights in and to any and all User Submissions to enable inclusion and use of the User Submissions in the manner contemplated by the Website and these Terms of Service; and (ii) you have the written consent, release, and/or permission of each and every identifiable person in the User Submission to use the name or likeness of each and every such identifiable person to enable inclusion and use of the User Submissions in the manner contemplated by the Website and these Terms of Service.

Except as we say otherwise here, you retain all of your ownership rights in your User Submissions. But just by sending them to us you give us a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, sublicenseable and transferable license to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and otherwise publish -- not just us, but our successors, if any. This includes promoting and redistributing part or all of the Website (and derivative works) in any media formats and through any media channels.   This means that, just for example, we could publish your comments in a book and not have to pay you anything.  Now, who in their right mind would wish to buy a book containing nothing but complements for John McCain, we ask you?  Well, probably Cindy (his wife).  Just possibly, his mom.   And he's got a lot of kids -- although if his kids are anything like out kids, the last thing they want to own is a book of compliments about their father.  Publish a website?  Sure.  But a book?  Not bloody likely.  Even we who have lost our hearts to him.  But ... we could if we like.

You also hereby grant each user of the Website a non-exclusive license to access your User Submissions through the Website, and to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display and perform such User Submissions as permitted through the functionality of the Website and under these Terms of Service.

The license you are giving us here doesn't even terminate once you delete your words from the site. AND nothing herein assures you that we will give you the ability to delete your words.  So think clearly before hitting Send!

OK, just to make sure you get the point and because lawyers love to say everything over and over again in case they were totally indecipherable the first time (as often they are), to clarify or even in addition to all the above:

Thou Shalt Not:

• steal. This means we forbid, absolutely forbid, got it? you to submit material that is copyrighted, protected by trade secret or otherwise subject to third party proprietary rights, including privacy and publicity rights, unless you are the owner of such rights or have permission from their rightful owner to post the material and to grant us all of the license rights granted herein.
  bear false witness. This means that we forbid you, seriously no-kidding around forbid you, to publish falsehoods or misrepresentations, defamatory statements, or any material that could damage us or anyone at all on Earth, in this Universe, or anywhere else even Rival Candidates (some of whom, Heaven knows, probably deserve it). We also forbid you from impersonating anyone else;
  commit adultery, and also we forbid, seriously forbid, you to submit material that is unlawful, obscene, pornographic or even sexually graphic. If you are here for any of that sort of thing, you are way in the wrong place anyway.
• kill. We moreover forbid you you from perpetrating any threatening, harassing, hateful, racially or ethnically offensive statements or materials that encourage conduct that would be considered a criminal offense anywhere they might be reading this, give rise to civil liability, violate any law, or is otherwise seriously inappropriate anywhere on Earth;
• covet they neighbor's house, which in this case means we forbid you to post advertisements or solicitations of business here as was intended. Get your own darned website;
• behave in an unpatriotic fashion. We're red blooded Americans here. We do enjoy a rousing political debate.  But if we catch you aiding terrorists you are toast here.

AND, just to catch everything we may have forgotten, we also forbid you from violating any of the other Ten Commandments around here.

We really are serious about the part about calling your mom more often. It's all part of Commandment Numero 5, over there in the Thou Shalts. Since you are a Unique User here we really, really want your days to be long upon the land.

As if that weren't enough, you should know that we do not endorse any words put here by a User, or any opinion, recommendation, or advice expressed therein. In fact we disclaim any and all liability in connection with words put here by a User.  We reserve the right to remove anyone's words without prior notice for any reason or no reason, or even if they just annoy us.  Or we accidentally press "Delete."

We're saying this part again because if we do it we don't want any whining.  But don't assume that if we haven't removed it we endorse it!  We may not have noticed it.

We reserve the right to terminate your access to its Website if we catching you breaking these rules. We also reserve the right to decide whether your words are appropriate and comply with these Terms of Service for anything.  Anything includes copyright infringement and violations of intellectual property law, pornography, obscene or defamatory material, or even excessive length, (not that counsel has any moral standing to complain about excessive length.) for example.  Or for any whim of ours however arbitrary and capricious we may remove your words AND terminate your access at any time, without prior notice and at its sole discretion and without even having to give you a decent explanation.

Now, sometimes sneaky people will sneak something past us. If you are a copyright owner or an agent thereof and believe that any of the words here, or other content infringes, upon your copyright, tell us -- pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act -- by providing our Copyright Agent with the following information in writing. Include

(i) A physical or electronic signature of a person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed;

(ii) Identification of the copyrighted work claimed to have been infringed, or, if multiple copyrighted works at a single online site are covered by a single notification, a representative list of such works at that site;

(iii) Identification of the material that is claimed to be infringing or to be the subject of infringing activity and that is to be removed or access to which is to be disabled and information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to locate the material;

(iv) Information reasonably sufficient to permit the service provider to contact you, such as an address, telephone number, and, if available, an electronic mail;

(v) A statement that you have a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained of is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; and

(vi) A statement that the information in the notification is accurate, and under penalty of perjury, that you are authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.

HILMH's designated Copyright Agent to receive notifications of claimed infringement is: How I Lost My Heart, 10311 Yearling Drive, Rockville, Maryland, 20850 ; email us at ralphbenko @ gmail.com.  If you are really, really pissed off, call us at 202.365.0002, but we prefer mail or email.   You agree that if you fail to comply with all of the requirements of this Section 5(D), your DMCA notice may not be valid.

We'd like to re-emphasize a few points:

When using the Website you will be exposed to words from a variety of sources. You haven't already forgotten that Pnosis is not responsible for the accuracy, usefulness, safety, or intellectual property rights of or relating to such words, have you?   Good, we are sure we can count on you.

You may be exposed to words that are inaccurate, offensive, indecent, or objectionable. This is on the World Wide Web, after all, so c'mon. So you hereby waive any legal or equitable rights or remedies you have or may have against us with respect thereto. You furthermore agree to indemnify and hold us, its Owner(s)/Operator(s), affiliates, and/or licensors, harmless regarding all matters related to your use of the site.

We permit you to link to materials on the Website for personal, non-commercial purposes. We're pretty sure we said this one a couple of times before, but it's more work to check than just to say it again. We still mean it.

ALSO:

We stole these terms and conditions from Pnosis.com and adapted them accordingly.  So if we failed to pick out every Pnosis in here and change it to HILMH etc, we are using our amazingly mystical legal powers to redefine Pnosis.com to mean HILMH for the purposes of these terms of service.  Get over it.  Pnosis has.

Notwithstanding your waiver of legal and equitable rights hereunder, you further agree that in any legal dispute between you, any user, us, its owner(s), proprietor(s), administrators or staff will be submitted to binding arbitration according to the rules of the American Arbitration Association, in Rockville, Maryland and shall be subject to the laws, and exclusive jurisdiction of the courts, of the State of Maryland and brought exclusively in the venue of Montgomery County, Maryland. 

Congratulations for having read the whole Terms of Service! If you've read through this far, you may email us at ralphbenko @ gmail.com This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it, if you'd like our personal congratulations. You are a true Hero of the Republic.  AND a Total Geek.  Like us.  But surely you have better things to do with your time?

We reserve the right to change in these Terms and Conditions in any way at any time.  If that is matter of concern for you it's your responsibility to keep up with changes or just to say the heck with it and go to some other website whose Terms and Conditions you like better.